How to avoid divorce: “The Big Four” of successful marriages

Divorce may be inevitable.  If the other party has made up their mind, then perhaps you can’t change that.  But even if your marriage is in trouble, do you both agree there is still time to save your marriage?  If the answer is yes, then consider the four areas that, according to financial expert Dave Ramsey, many marriage counselors say are “The Big Four” of marital success.

According to Dave, if you really want to have a good marriage, or want to make yours better, then counseling is a must. And good marriage counselors will cover these four areas:

1.    Money – Know the details of your spouse’s financial situation.  No more “I’ll pay my bills and you pay yours.”  All the money and all the expenses go on the table.  One of you can take the lead in doing the math, but when you both agree on your spending, that means you agree on your values and dreams and you will feel like you are part of a team.  Incidentally, feeling part of a team is a HUGE aspect of a healthy marriage.
2.    Religion – Whether you have one or not, being of the same religion, and having the same religious values, will affect how you spend your time, money, and energy.  It’s your “natural road map through life and through the tough times we all have to face.”
3.    Kids – Do you want some or not?  When?  How many?  Where will they go to school?  If you’re married and haven’t answered these questions, doing so can help your situation.  Child custody battles often follow divorce too.
4.    In-Laws – Are you in agreement with how involved (or uninvolved) your in-laws are?  Find some common ground for how you each want your in-laws to be a part of your life.

For even more help in these areas, even if you’ve been married for years, read Newlyweds: What Do We Need To Know About Money?

When your Westmoreland County divorce is unavoidable, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

Courtroom Behavior in Westmoreland County, PA

Whether you’re going to a Greensburg, PA child custody, divorce, or personal injury court hearing, there are some basic principles you must follow:

1. Always tell the truth, even if it hurts. A lie will hurt your credibility and may land you in jail for contempt of court.
2. Dress appropriately!  For men, get a haircut, shave, and trim your nails.  For women, avoid dangling jewelry and loud colors.  For everyone, shower and put on deodorant, choose neutral gray or navy blue clothing colors, cover up tattoos, and don’t wear a hat or sunglasses,
3. Act professional!  If you’re not sure how to act, ask your attorney for advice.  He or she is likely to poised, calm, focused, and professional.  If not, you need a new attorney!
4. Body language is important, too.  If you look angry, sarcastic, arrogant, or otherwise negative, it could affect your case, negatively.  One attorney’s sarcastic looks even landed her in jail for a short time – so don’t let something like this happen to you.

When you’re wanting to look your best for Greensburg, PA court hearings, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

How to prepare documentation for Greensburg, PA child custody court cases

How to prepare documentation for Greensburg, PA child custody court cases
It’s always better to start documenting NOW for your child custody case, even if you’re not sure you’ll need it.  Having a notebook full of relevant behavior or printed Excel spreadsheets detailing a timeline of every visit up to the custody hearing date may give you more confidence in your case.

• Does he/she pick up or drop off on time?
• Does your child’s behavior or attitude change after visits?
• Does he/she cancel a lot?
• Does he/ she leave the child with others often, not spending quality time with the child?
• Are you concerned about the well being of your child?

Some additional guidelines for child custody documentation can be found here.

Whether you have a Westmoreland County, PA child custody order yet or not, you should be documenting how you relate to the mother or father of your child.  You need to keep track of these things!  Document the time, date, and what was said for ALL:

• Visits
• Phone calls
• Text messages
• Emails
• Contact by family members

It’s not difficult – just be consistent.  You can use a spiral notebook, appointment calendar, or even a spreadsheet.  Be sure to photocopy your notebook or appointment calendar and keep that copy in a safe place or give the copy to your attorney.  Or if you use a computer for documentation, email a copy once every week or every two weeks to your attorney.  Be sure to bring the original to your child custody hearing.

When you’re preparing for your Greensburg, PA child custody hearing, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

How to prepare for your Greensburg, PA personal injury court case

You’ve been injured, and you want compensation for your medical expenses plus pain and suffering.  How do you do it?  Here’s a step-by-step list of what you should do:

1. Don’t sign ANYTHING.  You may lose your right to a claim, including any compensation for your bills or suffering.
2. Document EVERYTHING.  Save all your paperwork from the hospital, labs, doctor’s visits, therapy, medications, employment, and more.

Here’s a list of some common things you should document.  It’s not a complete list, but you should start by doing these things, and always provide copies for your attorney:

• Photograph your injuries
• Keep notes, including:
  • Medical appointments/treatment
  • Medications
  • Therapy session (including progress & limitations)
  • Lost work time
  • Other lost time/activities
  • Pain and limitations
  • Expenses incurred as a result of injuries/limitations
• Document conversations/information received from
  • Doctors and other medical professionals
  • The insurance company
• Keep all receipts, prescription records, etc.

For more info, visit totalinjury.com

When you are injured in Westmoreland County, PA, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

Attorney Debra L. Henry presented to dads at recent Dads Matter Saturday Seminar

On Saturday, August, 27, 2011, Attorney Debra L. Henry taught a workshop on child custody and child support at the Four Points Sheraton in Greensburg, PA.  Dads Matter, a program of the Private Industry Council of Westmoreland/Fayette, Inc., was the group that invited her to teach.

 In addition to Attorney Henry’s workshop, attendees also learned about getting out of debt and managing money from Seth W. Caton of Dads Matter, and parental stress and anger management from Bob Brinker of ParentWise.  If you’re interested in Attorney Henry speaking at your workshop or event, call 888-580-6816!

Crimes that might keep you from getting custody of your child in Pennsylvania (including Westmoreland County)

The following WILL be considered in your Greensburg, PA area child custody case (and every other county in Pennsylvania!):

• Criminal homicide
• Indecent assault
• Kidnapping
• Indecent exposure
• Unlawful restraint
• Incest
• Rape
• Endangering welfare of children
• Statutory sexual assault
• Prostitution and related offenses
• Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse
• Sexual abuse of children
• Sexual assault
• Aggravated indecent assault

There are other offenses which MAY be considered as well:

• Aggravated assault
• Harassment & stalking
• Terroristic threats
• False imprisonment
• Arson
• Contempt
• Driving under the influence (DUI)

Also, the court can order counseling, therapy, and ongoing rehabilitation for the offending parent.

When you’re fighting for a good child custody arrangement in Greensburg, PA, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

Changes to Pennsylvania Child Custody Law Which Affect Westmoreland County, PA Cases

If you are going through a child custody battle and live in Greensburg or elsewhere in Westmoreland or Fayette County, PA then there are some new Pennsylvania custody laws in effect.  They give the court the power to consider the following when making a child custody decision:

• Which party will encourage and permit continuing contact with the other party
• Parental duties performed by the parties on behalf of the child
• Sibling relationships
• The well-reasoned preference of the child based on the child's age and maturity
• Proximity of residences of the parties
• Attempt of one party to turn the child against the other party

The court can also consider several new crimes when deciding whether or not to award child custody to you or not including driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and can even consider if someone in the parent's household has been charged or convicted of a crime.

When you’re stuck in a Greensburg child custody battle, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

Questions to ask before your Westmoreland County marriage (or re-marriage)

According to this New York Times article, “Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying”, some relationship experts believe couples should (but don’t) ask each other these critical questions before getting married. Here they are:

1. Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2. Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3. Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4. Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5. Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6. Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7. Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8. Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9. Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10. Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11. Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12. What does my family do that annoys you?
13. Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14. If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15. Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

When it comes to your Greensburg, PA divorce, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

Pennsylvania Child Custody Law: Primary Custody, Full Custody, and Visitation…What’s the Difference?

You may think you want “Visitation” from your Westmoreland County child custody case, but do you?  In Pennsylvania there are several types of child custody, and you should be sure of which one you want.  After reading this, you probably won’t want visitation with your child or children!

• Sole Custody - This is very rare, and only given when the child is in grave danger when with the other parent.
• Primary Custody - Having custody of a minor child for more than 50% of the time.
• Partial Custody - The right to take possession of a child away from the custodial parent for a certain period of time.
• Legal Custody - The legal right to make major decisions affecting the best interest of a minor child, including, but not limited to, medical, religious and educational decisions.
• Visitation - The right to visit a child. Does not include the right to remove a child from the custodial parent’s control.

Basically “Visitation” means “going to visit the child” but that you can’t take him or her with you to the park, mall, baseball games, etc.  It’s likely what you would want to go for would be Primary or Partial Custody.

When you’re stuck in a Greensburg child custody battle, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry

Should I file for child custody in Pennsylvania? Greensburg, Westmoreland County, or elsewhere?

If you're thinking about filing for child custody in the Westmoreland County, PA area, here are a few pointers about Pennsylvania laws:

You can file for custody in Pennsylvania if your child has lived in PA for the last six months in a row.  (Leaving the state to go on vacation doesn't change anything.)*

There are exceptions to this law however. You may be able to file in Pennsylvania even if your child has not lived in PA for the last six months if:

• Your child is younger than six months old and has resided in PA since birth*;
• Your child lives in PA because it's an emergency situation because you, your child, or the child’s sibling are subjected to or threatened with abuse.**; or
• Your child lived in PA for at least six months but:
  • Moved away from PA, although you are still be living there; and
  • Your child has not lived in any other state for 6 months in a row since leaving PA.***

If you have an existing custody order from another state and you want to change it, you will probably have to file a petition to change (modify) that order in the state where it was issued.****

* 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 5402
** 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 5424(a)
*** 23 Pa.C.S.A § 5421(a)
**** 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 5423

When you're considering filing for child custody, we are on your side,
The Law Offices of Debra L. Henry